In the Heat of the Moment

We all have that moment of anger that we feel coming on and then there is that split second where we could either walk away, run our mouths, or say something of value. Wouldn't you know that I am one who would typically run with my mouth?!  I must say over the years I have gotten better about it and I don't do it as frequently as I once did; but only because I have taught myself to look for that defining moment.  That split second where I can control how this is going to turn out.  We all know what that moment looks like but few of us take the time to try to recognize it before we react to a difficult situation we may be having at that time.  Usually if you can get past your own mouth you want to try to walk away until you can calm yourself and then try to have a calm conversation about whatever is going on with you at that time.  Of coarse this all sounds a lot easier than it feels in the moment but the good news is if you can take yourself outside the situation you can really put some things into perspective.  Don't sweat the small stuff and be comfortable enough to talk about whatever is going on.  Of coarse most of this works in all situations but I am more or less referring to moments that I have with my husband, close friend, or family member.  Of coarse one great question I like to ask myself is whether or not this is going to matter in 10 years?  Another question I like to ask myself is whether or not what I have to say can actually contribute to a positive change or am I just blowing off steam?  I also try to decide on a scale of 1-10 how important is my view on the issue and on a scale of 1-10 how important do I think it is to them?  Why do they have the point of view that they do?  All of these are great things to ask because they help you to decide what you are trying to get out of the situation and how can you be heard and listen at the same time.  Life is too short and too hard without us trying to make it more complicated.  So in the heat of the moment what are you going to try to do next time?  You may want to start with counting to 10 and answering some questions.  Well I suppose it's better luck next time and don't be shocked if it takes a few times to get there.  I'm always learning in this school we call life!!