Better Late than Never

So it has obviously been awhile... OK, a long while.  I pretty much had forgotten that I had even created this forum for myself.  So much has happened since the last time I was on here.  I think I am simply going to hit on one brief thought.  My husband and I had dreamed of moving across country for years and had never quite found the right time or way to go about it.  Like this blog, it was something that sat on the back burner for a really long time.  One day we woke up and just said it's time to go!  We definitely made this journey later than we had intended in our lives but definitely not too late to appreciate all that it has given us.  This decision has been so empowering and eye opening that I don't even think I am an eloquent enough of  a writer to describe it; however, I am going to try.  The comfort that I have in knowing my family is only a phone call away has given us the strength and courage to make this leap of faith.  We certainly did a lot of planning and researching before making the leap but it was knowing that while we may physically be somewhere on our own; we would have the comfort of knowing that a simple phone call home could ease most worries and concerns.  We researched the places to live, job markets, salaries, cost of living, and quality of life.  We made several plans that worked with a multitude of contingencies to help minimize the surprises that might happen along the way.  Off we went, and Chicago was where we landed and we couldn't be happier!  Growing up we were always told that you can do anything you put your mind to.  Making this move and being successful at it in every way has made me realize we really CAN do anything we set our minds to!  Life isn't perfect.  There are a lot of bumps in the road.  There are many roads and paths you can take.  The most important thing to remember is to enjoy the journey because the journey is the real reward.  We started our journey a little later than we had planned but it is better late than never!  We are planning our next journey at life and you know what?  I am so very excited to see where this one takes us.  I know it's scary and it's going to difficult; but more importantly, it's going to be amazing!

Does the Ringing Ever Stop?

Ever have the phone just continue ringing one call after the next?  I am definitely experiencing that now.  Some days I think technology is a beautiful thing with the way we are able to comunicate with people all over the world.  Today is just not one of those days.  Today is a reminder that I need to get away from the cell phone and some other forms of communication and just be by myself.  It's kind of funny how much easier it is to think about things when the phone isn't ringing or going "beep" to the new text message or e-mail that is coming in.  After all these years of innovation in technology we sometimes forget that some of the most important communication we can have is involving face time with our loved ones or simply our own thoughts.  It's our own thoughts that allow us to really take the time to plan our next point of action.  It's our own thoughts that allow us the opportunity to think of how we can better our lives.  It's our own thoughts that we need in order to evaluate ourselves.  This is sometimes hard when we are constantly surrounding ourselves with distractions.  So I am challenging myself with two things... first off, when life is becoming complicated or too rushed, I am going to step away and find a place of peace to think about things so that I can clear my head of the noise and figure out what is really important.  Hopefully it's not what is on the other side of the phone...lol.  Secondly I am going to make time to communicate with the people I care about face to face (and no, Skype doesn't count.)  We miss out on so many things because we don't take our time to see each other's body language and what that is telling us that words may be leaving out.  How about that bear hug that you used to run up to a parent to get when you were little?  We under estimate the power we have to simply touch one another and allow that person to feel emotion run through their body by a warm embrace.  I think we could all use a little more face time and little more quiet from the buzz of the day; at least I know I could.

In the Heat of the Moment

We all have that moment of anger that we feel coming on and then there is that split second where we could either walk away, run our mouths, or say something of value. Wouldn't you know that I am one who would typically run with my mouth?!  I must say over the years I have gotten better about it and I don't do it as frequently as I once did; but only because I have taught myself to look for that defining moment.  That split second where I can control how this is going to turn out.  We all know what that moment looks like but few of us take the time to try to recognize it before we react to a difficult situation we may be having at that time.  Usually if you can get past your own mouth you want to try to walk away until you can calm yourself and then try to have a calm conversation about whatever is going on with you at that time.  Of coarse this all sounds a lot easier than it feels in the moment but the good news is if you can take yourself outside the situation you can really put some things into perspective.  Don't sweat the small stuff and be comfortable enough to talk about whatever is going on.  Of coarse most of this works in all situations but I am more or less referring to moments that I have with my husband, close friend, or family member.  Of coarse one great question I like to ask myself is whether or not this is going to matter in 10 years?  Another question I like to ask myself is whether or not what I have to say can actually contribute to a positive change or am I just blowing off steam?  I also try to decide on a scale of 1-10 how important is my view on the issue and on a scale of 1-10 how important do I think it is to them?  Why do they have the point of view that they do?  All of these are great things to ask because they help you to decide what you are trying to get out of the situation and how can you be heard and listen at the same time.  Life is too short and too hard without us trying to make it more complicated.  So in the heat of the moment what are you going to try to do next time?  You may want to start with counting to 10 and answering some questions.  Well I suppose it's better luck next time and don't be shocked if it takes a few times to get there.  I'm always learning in this school we call life!!

Giving Back at Christmas

I know of a few families that are in an extremely difficult situation this year for Christmas.  I guess the real question is what do you do about it?  Do you say well I'm sure someone else will bail them out...or do you just turn your head and go about your business?  Or better yet, do you try step in and be the hero in someone's life?  I think we all know what the answer is but I think most of us are just uncertain about how we can help those in need.  Talk to your church and see what they are doing to help others.  Look online for a local soup kitchen or shelter you can volunteer just a few hours of your time to.  Listen to the radio and drop some toys off to whatever program they are participating with; such as Toys for Tots.  Walk into Wal-Mart and pick up a gift set for the man that greets you at the door every time you come in the store.  Buy gifts for your friend's kids instead of getting something for your friend.  Just do something for someone out of the norm!  It doesn't have to be anything big.  It could be items that you have only used once that you know someone else's family might appreciate.  This is the season for GIVING not getting!!!  It's hard to remember that when we get caught up in the coming and goings of our own lives to remember what this is really about.  It could just be your time or it could be money but let's bring Christmas back!  Let's take care of each other and not just ourselves.  We can do this if we do it together.  I hope someone sees this and adds their own ideas as to what they are doing this year.  The more suggestions we have the more options people can choose from.

To Short Sale or Not to Short Sale?

My husband and I; like many others, are trapped in a home that we paid WAY too much for in 2004.  We finally decided to talk to an attorney last Monday and find out what he had to say about whether or not we should short sale our home.  Now mind you we had a bit of dilemma with trying to decide what we were going to do because we could technically try to suffer it through for a little bit longer but things weren't looking good for us to be able to continue to do this since my job had cut hours and my husband's job is going through some transitions.  What do we do?  We also know that we want to be moving out of state in few years too so we also need to be thinking about our future and how this choice will affect that future choice.  Once we explained all of this to the attorney he completely took me by surprise with his response.  He said that we need to be looking at this as if it is a business decision and not a moral one.  He said even if you wanted to look at it from a moral point of view then we should try this on for size.  Would you pay $174,000 for a Toyota Corolla?  I think not.  The banks were basically taking advantage of people before and and they are continuing to do it now.  If you won't pay that price for a car then why would you pay $200,000 for a house that is only worth $60,000?  Once he presented it to us that way the decision became very easy and very clear...short sale.

Dogs on the Run!

OK, so I completely goofed and I didn't close my front door all the way and wouldn't you know that it would be one of my two dogs to figure it out?!  First comes a noise outside and in true dog spirit one of my dogs goes to the front door and puts his nose to the window and whoops...there he goes!!  Then the second dog follows right behind the first.  My husband hops out of bed from taking a nap and jumps in his truck after the first dog (which is my boy dog) and I go running after the second dog (which is my girl dog.)  The girl is pretty good about coming to me but the boy will only jump in the car and go "bye, bye."  What is it about the sense of getting out of the house and just running with air whipping in their ears that is so fun?  If you take them to a dog park to run freely in a giant fenced in area they don't even get that same sense of freedom as they do when the get out of their home.  They also don't run off in that same way when they are visiting someone else's home.  I suppose every now and then even a dog needs a little freedom the same way we do.  Fortunately, my dogs don't take too much time to have their brief run with freedom.  People are another story though; we need to be able to run for what may sometimes be years or only minutes; but for whatever we need that rush of freedom for, I can only hope we do the same as my dogs and return home quickly so that we don't worry our loved ones for very long either.

Deciding to Blog

So blogging has been a foreign concept to me; however, I am finding that it is a more and more common thing that is going on.  I have determined that it is kind of like a public diary on your thoughts and feelings, which is why I have decided to keep my anonymous.  I figure if I am to truly be honest with my thoughts and feelings that anyone can access then I may want to keep my identity to myself.  I want to share what I experience on a regular basis whether it is family drama, relationship choices, or just simply venting about something I may be going through.  I don't actually expect that I am interesting enough for someone to follow what I am writing but I do see this as sort of a therapeutic way of working through my own thoughts and feelings.  I will say that once I write this post I am going to be curious to see what others take their time to write about.  I wonder what makes someone else decide to do this?  I wonder how often most people do post to their blog?  I don't even know if I will actually follow through on this and write regularly but I suppose you will never know unless you begin and see where it takes you.  Well I guess I will be signing off for now...until next time.